


When The Darkness Comes

by chancesxare



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Cutting, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Self-Harm, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-08
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2019-03-01 23:21:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13305513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chancesxare/pseuds/chancesxare
Summary: Alex has a bad day with depression and Maggie comes home to something unexpected. Just a small one-shot.Trigger Warning: Self Harm / Cutting, Depression Heavy





	When The Darkness Comes

**Author's Note:**

> This is my second story but my first Sanvers! I hope you all enjoy. I am currently trying to manage my depression so I thought this was fitting. Critique is always welcome but please be kind about it.
> 
> #sanversforever
> 
> *** TRIGGER WARNING FOR SELF HARM / CUTTING ***

Alex had always suffered from depression. It had always been there, in the back of her mind - a constant darkness that threatened to eliminate the light. Most days, it was easy to ignore it. Hell, there was always some threat or big bad in National City, so she put all of her focus on that. On the harder days however, when concentration was impossible and aliens were at peace if only for a few hours, Alex found herself working out.

Each time her routine was different depending on how bad it was. Some days when she barely managed to get herself out of bed, she'd go for a run. At least then she could feel slightly accomplished when it came to the end of the night. Then there were times Alex felt she could do more. So she got dressed, went into the DEO, and spent hours in the gym ( sparring, lifting weights, running through simulations ).

And then there were the really rare nights, like now, when the eldest Danvers didn't feel like living. The darkness took over and seeped into her bloodstream. Trying to distract herself with television, puzzles, or anything else was pointless. Those things took too much energy and motivation that she didn't have. So she'd stay in bed ; a pair of sweats, baggy t-shirt and a bottle of whiskey to try and numb it all.

Alex had never told Kara, merely making an excuse that she didn't feel good or just wanted to be alone. She'd offer to bring over soup, watch movies with her, but Alex would decline. But now Alex had someone else to worry about. **Maggie.**

The lock on the apartment door clicked and Alex inhaled from her position on the bathroom floor, a razor blade between calloused fingertips. Tiny droplets of blood sat on the top of Alex's thigh from the cut she had made on bare skin. She just wanted to feel something, anything but the overwhelming feeling of being worthless, a failure. "Babe?" Maggie's voice echoed through the open apartment and tears blurred Alex's vision. Footsteps followed, pausing as she probably noticed her keys on the table by the door, wondering why she wasn't getting an answer back. Then there was the sound of keys joining her own, shoes slipping off, a jacket getting hanged up. Alex took another breath and the razor slipped out of her fingers, the sound of metal hitting tile causing her to flinch.

"Al, honey .." Her eyes shifted up and Maggie stood in the doorway of the bathroom. A sob escaped Alex's lips and then her girlfriend was beside her, kneeling on the floor. Carefully picking up the blade, Maggie tossed in into the sink as she ripped a piece of paper towel off the roll and pressed it to her thigh. "I'm here." She whispered, an arm wrapping around the woman. "I'm right here, Alex, okay? I'm right here with you." She pressed her lips to Alex's ruffled locks, gently rocking her like you would a small child. Her heart ached for her girlfriend, seeing her like this, so broken and hurting.

"Let me bandage that and we can go to bed?" It was a soft question. The last thing Maggie wanted was to do something that Alex didn't want. She wanted to be there for her girlfriend during this dark time, to support her no matter what and show her that she had someone on her side. _**Ride or die.**_ Tomorrow would have to be a discussion further on the night's events. Alex couldn't keep going like this. She needed help.

Alex sniffled and nodded her head at the question. "Will you hold me?"

Instantly Maggie's hands were cupping her face, thumbs brushing away streaks of tears on her cheeks. "Baby, of course I'll hold you. You never have to ask." A kiss was pressed to trembling lips and Maggie began bandaging Alex's cut. It wasn't large nor was it deep - just enough to warrant a small bandage and it would heal within a few days.

Kneeling between Alex's legs, she curled a finger underneath her chin and tilted her head up slightly so she could gaze into her eyes. "You know I'm always here for you? You can talk to me about anything, Alex. No matter how stupid you feel it is, or how dark it is. Nothing that you ever feel could make me leave, and nothing you ever feel is wrong or dumb. Your feelings matter, especially to me. You told me once that you weren't here to judge me, that you were here to help me heal. Well I'm here to help you heal, baby girl. I want you to feel like you can call me if you feel this way instead of hurting yourself. You don't have to suffer through this alone." Maggie's eyes glistened with tears, forehead resting against the other's.

Alex was silent for a moment, taking in her girlfriend's speech as another tear escaped. Moments later, she wrapped her arms around the detective's neck and pulled her close, face burying in her neck. "I love you, Sawyer."

"And I love you, Danvers."


End file.
